A time-tossed Saucy Jones joins the Secret Society of Super-Villains!

It had taken weeks of hitting up disreputable bars and talking to the sorts of people who had spent more time in prison than working for a living, but Saucy finally tracked down the information she sought. Now she had to find a place called the ‘Sinister Citadel,’ somewhere in San Francisco.

Doing all of this legwork, while remaining on the (admittedly long) most-wanted list, for her string of crimes on the East coast and in Europe, was a challenge, but she bought drinks and flirted with creeps and intimidated low-lives and ‘professional flunkies’ until she had the information she needed.

It was in a fabulous dance club that she ran into the super-villain Captain Stingaree, who she recognized even out of his flamboyant pirate garb, and while it was a task to get the man away from his date, she managed to get him soused enough to tell her the secret location of the villains secret base before leaving him passed out at the table.

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It was six PM the next day when she finished scouting out her objective. It had some truly innovative security measures, more advanced than any she had seen before in this backwards time, but they were no match for her 30th century skills, and she evaded them all, before stripping off her mask and gloves and strutting brazenly into the meeting room of the Secret Society of Super-Villains!

“What is the meaning of this interruption, female?,” asked Gorilla Grodd, who appeared to be the leader of the group assembled around the table, some of whom stood up in alarm, others of whom just turned to face her, more secure in their power (or unwilling to show weakness in front of their peers).

“This *is* a meeting of super-villains, isn’t it? And I’m a super-villain, according to all the bad press I’ve been getting for taking stuff that other people didn’t do a good enough guard of securing.” She says, swaying her hips as she walks around the table, running her hand idly along the backs and shoulders of some of the assembled men. “It seems that my invitation to this little shindig got lost in the mail. Or is it because I’m a sister?” she adds pointedly, noting that none of the assembled are of her particular coloration, even if there is a man with purple skin and a talking gorilla. “The place certainly could use a woman’s touch,” she continues quickly, before the gorilla can regain control of the conversation, “Unless Ivy here is woman enough for all of you,” she adds with a raised eyebrow in Poison Ivy’s direction.

She knows that she’s playing with fire, but getting on Ivy’s bad side will just help sell her cred as a fellow villain. If she tried to make friends with everyone, she’d be far too suspicious…

While she’s been talking, she’s been using her powers rapid-fire, warping space around herself, as if just about to leap away, but then stopping herself at the last second. The furrowed brow on Grodd’s face tells her that it’s working the way she hoped it would, messing with his monkey mind-reading mojo, as if he was trying to contact a mind that is alternately there and miles away.

“Enough of your prattling.” Grodd says finally, eyes narrowed at his inability to read her mind, “You may be a super-villain, but you were not invited here, and none of us have worked with you. Leave, or be destroyed.”

Saucy knows that she’s got one chance to play this, and stops her prowl behind Mirror Master and Bizarro, both of whom swivel in their seats to face her. She promptly sits down in Bizarro’s lap, and turns to Mirror Master, pulling his head closer to her own, as if for a kiss, only to look at herself critically in the mirrored panel atop his mask. She draws out the moment, poking at her hair and stroking an eyebrow into place, before letting go of Mirror Masters face and turning back to regard the hyper-intelligent gorilla. “I’m sorry, what was that? I was distracted. Was it about stealing stuff and getting rich, because otherwise, you’re wasting all of our time…”

Gorilla Grodd pounds the table hard enough to make the surface crack under his fists, but is interrupted, this time by Professor Zoom. “I call a vote. Do we accept the membership application of Saucy Jones or do we kill her for wasting our time.”

Grodd is non-plussed, his jaw working furiously, but already hands are in the air, some thumbs pointing up, others down. Saucy looks around, holding her breath as she tries to count those voting aye.

Poison Ivy has voted ‘nay,’ no surprise there, and Mirror Master has voted ‘aye,’ which is a bit of surprise the way she manhandled him a moment ago. Professor Zoon has voted aye, and she’s very worried about that, because she knows that he too is from the future, and may suspect things about her that she’s not ready to reveal. Killer Moth have voted aye, for reasons she can’t even imagine, as has Funky Flashman, who probably voted aye just to piss off Grodd, who, unsurprisingly, has also voted ‘nay.’ Sinestro trusts no one, and votes ‘nay,’ as does the Angle Man. Bizarro’s arm reaches out from behind her as the brute speaks, “Me like Saucy. Me vote to kill her.” She begins to feel a chill, as the numbers align against her, but the Trickster flips a coin and holds out his hand dramatically, before raising his thumb up. A tie.

Her heart sinks, as leader, Grodd has the ability to settle a tie, and he’s already voted ‘nay.’

It’s only her mastery of space and time that allows her to see Professor Zoom move at all, and he’s back in his seat looking like nothing at all has happened. Grodd is holding a slip of paper in his ridiculously oversized hands, and squints at it before speaking. “I have received a communication from Felix Faust, who was unable to attend, but is aware of this meeting. He votes ‘aye,’ breaking the tie.”

There is some muttering from the others, with the Trickster looking up and down and under his seat, as if to find the means by which Felix Faust is watching this meeting, but Grodd pounds the table again to restore order before speaking, “Welcome to the Secret Society of Super-Villains, Saucy Jones. Please take a seat somewhere other than Bizarro’s lap.”

Grodd purses his lips and regards Professor Zoom, who is studiously looking in another direction entirely, with annoyance, and Saucy knows that Zoom is the source of the note. She watches carefully through the rest of the meeting, to see if she can get her hands on that slip of paper…

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Grodd kept the note on his person until they were leaving the room, when she saw his hand drop it into a waste chute, and she could see a flash of light from some sort of laser-disposal system. She reached out with her powers as subtly as she could, attempting to teleport the note into her hand before it was burned, and ended up with a smoldering piece of paper, partially burned. She winced and kept the pain from showing on her face as the scorched paper was smothered in her grasp. By the time they had reached some sort of lounge area, she was itching to see if there was any legible information left on the paper, but needed an excuse to part company with her new allies.

Noting the full bar at one side of the room, she sauntered over and grabbed a glass for herself. Sinestro stood at the opposite side of the bar, examining a bottle of brandy, and Saucy leaned back and waved her empty glass at the alien, “Sinny baby, drink me.” Sinestro’s eyes flared with temper, followed by a pulse of sickly yellow energy from his power ring, and the bottle of brandy accelerated at Saucy’s head like a bullet. The pop of displaced air was drowned out by the sound of the bottle smashing into Bizarro, who had the misfortune of coming up behind Saucy just before she teleported away from the incoming projectile.

“Me thanks purple man!” Bizarro said cheerfully, running his hands down his brandy-soaked shirt and licking his fingers, slurping up the spilled liquor and crunching the bits of glass between his invulnerable teeth. “On me, have drink.” Bizzaro says amiably, with a big smile, pitching a bottle of Amaretto at Sinestro hard enough to create a sonic boom in the lounge, which pops everyone’s ears, and somehow manages to knock the Trickster flat off of his chair.

Sinestro’s ring flares again, and the bottle explodes like a grenade on the yellow shield that appears before him, showering everyone in the room with liquor and shards of glass. A half-dozen angry villain’s voices raise and new bottles and glasses are lifted before Grodd’s telepathic voice rips through everyone’s minds. “ENOUGH!”

The simian super-genius, fur soaked with almond-scented liqueur, stomps out of the room, and Saucy also takes the opportunity to shake bits of glass out of her hair, and walk out as well, to ‘freshen up.’

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Saucy hasn’t managed to figure out where private quarters would be, when the Trickster catches up to her in the hallway. Somehow, shielded by the chair that he fell from, he’s managed to avoid getting any liquor on him, and this just annoys Saucy as much as the man’s clumsy attempt at flirtation.

“So, you’ve made quite the splash! Arrived with a bang, as they say,” the ludicrously-clad man says, gamely attempting to be funny. He extends his hand, but Saucy sees just in the nick of time the bulge that conceals some device in the palm of his hand before taking it.

“If that’s one of those lame electrified joy-buzzers, I’ll kick your butt from here to Metropolis, funny man…” she warns, wiping Amaretto off of her top.

“I can get that for you,” the Trickster says, reaching for a flower on his lapel, only to have Saucy grip his wrist. “And the squirting flower trick? Don’t even make me come over there and deflower you.”

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Finally, Saucy has made it to private quarters, and has a moment to herself to collect her thoughts. She unclenches her fist to reveal that the note she worked so hard to save is little but charred ashes, and she exerts her powers to reverse the flow of time and restore the note to how it looked moments before the laser disposal system ignited it.

‘The woman has bypassed all of our security measures and knows far too much. Invite her in, but say nothing sensitive in her presence. If she is a spy, it would be far more effective to feed her false information and so entrap our enemies. –Z’

Allowing the natural order of time to reassert itself, Saucy watches the note once again burn into char and ash, and drift to the floor.

She’s suspected by everyone, managed to piss off Grodd, Poison Ivy and Sinestro, at the bare minimum, and her intended target, Chronos, isn’t even a member of the current team! She wants to lie down and cry, but clenches her fists and resolves herself to make the best of this situation. Professor Zoom may be dangerously clever, but he seems to have some means of travelling to the 25th century, which means that she might be able to hijack whatever system he uses to get herself at least halfway home…

And then there’s the potential of this Angle Man, who seems to have abilities over time and space very similar to her own. Perhaps his mysterious ‘Angler’ could boost her powers?

It was going to be dangerous, but Saucy wasn’t about to back down from any chance to get home!

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